F1RST 0FF, WE HAVE T0 SAY.. WE 0WN YER DUMB ASS.  
4ND R3MEMB3R, DUMB ASS 1S OFT3N CUTE 4SS.  AND WE L1KE CUTE ASS.












S3C0ND, TH3R3 AR3 S0 MANY L0S3RS H3R3, 1TZ HARD T0 P1CK WH1CH
T0 1NSULT THE M0ST.



S1NC3 WE AR3 N0W INTERN3T TERR0RISTZ, W3 F1GURE WE SH0ULD DEMAND
S0ME RANSOM OR SOMETHING.  SO, PAY US 104 GIRLIEZ, 6 BILLION IN
N3WSPAP3R SUBSCRI1PTIONZ, AND MAYBE A PR1NT1NG PR3SS 0R S0M3TH1NG.
N0T L1K3 Y0U GUYS KN0W WHAT FA1R J0URNALIZM IS ANYWAY.  DUMB WH0R3Z.












J0HN MARK0FF (JACKOFF):

W3 G0TTA START TH1S 0UT RIGHT, SO HI J0HN MARK0FF, TH1Z 0N3 IS F0R Y3W.
W3 EXP3CT FR0NT PAG3 L1K3 Y0U PROMISED.  S0 WHY BR3AK 0UR AGR33M3NT
AND T3LL THE W0RLD WE AR3 W0RK1NG T0G3THER 0N TH1S L1TTL3 H4CK?
B3CAUSE YER A W0RTHL3SS PI3CE 0F SH1T.  D0 YOU HAV3 N1GHTMAR3S ABOUT H3LP1NG
1MPRIS0N K3VIN?  KN0WING THAT Y0UR LI3S AND D3C3IT H3LP3D BR1NG D0WN
TH1S INJUST1C3?  ALL S0 YOU C0ULD MAK3 A F3W EXTRA BUCKS AND G3T IN B3D
WITH JAPB0Y?  WHY N0 ARTICL3S 0N TH3 M0VI3 C0M1NG 0UT THAT FURTH3R
DEM0NIZ3S HIM?  AND Y0U CRY AB0UT S0ME HACK3R PRANK CALLS.  DI3 B1TCH.
AND QU1T CALL1NG Y3R P3T JAP A 'S3CUR1TY EXP3RT', H3 G0T R00T3D BY M1TN1CK
T0 BEG1N WITH, AND N0W, P30PL3 AR3 SAYING H3 HAD N0 SKILLZ.  IF S0,
THAT M3ANS AN UNSK1LLED HACK3R B3AT TH1S S0 CALL3D SECUR1TY 3XP3RT.  

HAV3N'T H3ARD FR0M Y0U 1N A WH1L3 MARK0FF.  0H!  D1D S0M30N3
0V3R TH3R3 F1NALLY CATCH 0N THAT Y0U AR3 A CLU3L3SS M0R0N?  W3LL, HFG
1NDUCTED A N3W M3MBER 1N Y0UR H0N0R.  SAY H1 T0 Y0UR FRI3ND FR0M S0
L0NG AG0.  (R3AD THE HTML C0MM3NTS IF YOU CAN'T GU3SS WH0 THAT 1Z M0R0N)

NY-TIM3S N33DS T0 H1RE S0ME THIRD GRAD3RS. THAT WAY P30PL3 W0ULD G3T
BETTER AND M0RE ACCURATE NEWS ART1CLES F0R A CHANG3.


M4TT RICHT3L:

Y0U MUST B3 TH3 N3W STAR AR0UND TH3R3.  Y0U S33M T0 HAV3 A CLU3 AB0UT A
F3W TH1NGS.  0N3 P13C3 0F ADV1C3 TH0UGH, CH3CK Y0UR S0URC3S B3TT3R.
Y0U HAV3 QU0TED PR3T3ND HACK3RS 1N TH3 PAST.  D0ESN'T L00K G00D F0R Y0U.










TH1S T1ME, CAR0LYN M3INEL ASKED US TO HIT A B1GG3R AND M0RE TRAFFICKED
SIT3.  SH3 T0LD US TH3 0THER DAY THAT SH3 1Z ALM0ST D0N3 W1TH THE B00K.
1TZ AMAZ1NG H0W SH3 SP1NS TH1NGZ AR0UND.  H3R3 W3 TH0UGHT SH3 W0ULD G3T
MAD AT US F0R BR3AK1NG 0UR AGR33M3NT, BUT SH3 SA1D "D0N'T W0RRY HFG,
N0 0N3 W1LL BEL1EVE YOU S1NCE Y0U AR3 BLACKHAT HACK3RS.  B3SID3Z, TH1S
ADDS M0RE MYST3RY AND SUSP3NCE F0R ME.  C0NTR0V3RSY SELLZ!".  0K.  1F
Y0U S4Y S0.














HFG 1Z N0W G0ING INT0 THE C1GAR BUS1NESS T00.  W3 W1LL S3LL 0UR 0WN
L1N3 0F DES1GN0R C1GARS, START1NG W1TH THE 'L3W1NSKY C1GAR'.  1T
HAS A FAIRLY D1STINCT TAST3.  (AND W3 TH0UGHT *W3* W3R3 K1NKY!)

HFG N3WS:  W3LP, TH1S IZ 0UR LAST HACK F0R A L1TTL3 WH1L3.  S1NC3
M4ST3R H4CK3R QUIT HIS J0B AT TAC0 B3LL, H3 IZ HAV1NG T0 W0RK EXTRA
H0URS AT ARBY'S T0 3NSUR3 A CAR33R THERE.  SLUT PUPPY 1Z ST1LL 1N
S0M3 M3X1CAN WH0RE HOUSE, WH1LE S1D3K1CK SL4PPY 1Z M1SS1NG IN ACTI0N.
D0NT 3V3N ASK WH3R3 D4DDY SW33T CAK3S IZ!  WH1L3 W3 TAK3 A VACAT10N,
Y0U GUYS CAN ST1LL BU1LD ALT3RS AND SHR1N3S T0 US.  W3 KN0W Y0U
L0VE US.  AND R3ST ASSUR3D, W3 W1LL B3 BACK S00N.  PR0M1S3!



HFG PO3TRY FOR Y0U:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
wether you believe it or scoff
we at HFG hate john markoff
to the new writer matt
we say "at least you're not a rat"

for some reason john hates mitnick
even when tsutomu is the real big dick
while shimmy is no beginner to crime
kevin is the one doing his time

hanging here at new york times
is the best place to sling our rhymes
poor journalism these guys have the knack
which explains the good security they lack

we busted root on their women and their suns
next thing you know, we'll be looking for nuns
in our short absence we leave you this thought
at least the good fight was fought!



HFG 1S PROUD TO 0FFER OUR N3W S3CURITY TRAIN1NG SEMINARZ 1N
A PR1NT1NG PR3SS N3AR YOU.  F0R 9969.99 +TAX, YOUR ADM1NZ
CAN L3ARN H0W N0T T0 G1VE UP R00T SO 3ASILY.  TOO G00D TO B3
TRUE YOU ASK?  C0NSIDER WE R00TED TH1S B0X OFF 0DAY WAR3Z ST0L3N
FR0M TSUT0MU SH1M0MURA'S SYST3M IN .04 SEC0NDS.  NOT BAD HUH?












W3 AR3 TH3 GR3Y HAT _ROBIN HOODS_ 0F HACK1NG!
W3 FEEL UP TH3 R1CH, AND L1V3 F0R M0RE!









PL3ASE V1S1T AND SUPPORT S1TES WE D0N'T 0WN:

FREE KEVIN YA DUMB WHOREZ!

IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD OUR SEMINAR...

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THE GOOD GUYS

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